Letting Go: Daily Prompt Might as Well Jump
For two immigrants’ daughter I have taken plenty of risks. I have been on my own since 20 and independence/self-sustainability is the greatest risk anyone can take. Taking care of yourself requires an enormous amount of responsibility and self-sacrifice to a larger extent. Now after all is said and done, my biggest risk would be trusting someone else to take care of me and to let go.
The trouble with this is that any time I have tried it in the past it did not work. Either I got taken advantage of or the train stopped before it got out of the station. Once you have been burned quite a few times, the risk becomes about being vulnerable. I am not sure how to make this happen. There is no shining knight in armor or a faerie godmother ready to make all my dreams come true. The monk who taught me how to meditate informed me the only way to be set free is to meditate twice a day. Enlightenment will come that way and I will be free from attachment.
Attachments are a part of life and I do not necessarily want to detach from being human. Although sometimes I feel that I have detached from humanity already. Getting back into the swing of life and social order would be a great thing if I could just let things be. I may need to meditate more for that to actually happen. So to help me let go I take my dog to Key Biscayne at night to commune with the ocean’s energy that is about nothing save letting go. Things wash in and out continuously without concern or attachment. People and events come into my life and I almost choke them trying holding on to their stability. In those moments when I realize I cannot hold on to anyone or anything, I grow anxious.