When I was younger I was one of the above mentioned colors. It was cool at the time and I even interned for a senator my junior year that was of the same party affiliation. My views were heavily influenced by the idealism of youth before the inching gray took over. Once my views evolved from being black and white, I changed parties. I saw the endless layers of each political topic. No one is ever truly right.
Now I am of the other color that is about a tougher love than allowing everyone to run hog wild. I am happier being this color. There is a rich history of this party and an added element of secrecy. People who know me, know my color scheme and those that don’t have a hard time telling.
Why the secrecy?
I had a reached my annoyance level with those of the other party screaming at me that I wrong about the issues. None of us are wrong, we can be misinformed or short-sighted, but never fully at a miss. It speaks to our current political climate that I am not willingly to share my color. The few people that I know that were hostile towards me for my choice are enough to prevent me from speaking openly.
We should be able to change our minds and to come out of the political closet.
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”-The Stones
Sometimes in life we try so hard to make things happen. Relationships, careers, friendships and fitting in with others. They don’t work and we rage at the paid employee that is supposed to be guiding our life. Then something happens and we realize prayers go unanswered for a reason. So was the case with my novel, I threw myself into it much to the detriment of my love and scial life. I wanted to be a novelist so badly it became an ache.
Fast forward to this summer, where my prayers have been answered to such a grateful extent that I now have a substantial waiting list for my writing skills. I ghostwrite, meaning other people pay me to develop their ideas and have them come to fruition. This is gratifying on so many levels. My work gets read and bills can be paid by my words. Clients have their dream come true and I do as well. I actually have to stop myself from hugging strangers. I wanted something else, but got exactly what I needed. http://www.maureencastellon.com
Taken last night after the lightning storms and irrational drivers drove us indoors.
I am really shy which some people take as stuck up while others believe it is mysterious. To add to it, I have a shall we say dramatic look with my Black Irish vibe. There are a few things people don’t know me. I’d like to share a few.
1. I have never watched a sappy movie like Titanic, The Notebook etc. because I see no point in being sad or getting emotional when it is not necessary.
2. I believe in reincarnation, but still fear death.
3. I am more conservative than people realize. People have come up to me for quite a few years thinking I am into “interesting” things. I smile politely, but I am more Nancy Reagan than Nancy Spungen.
4. I have never been so relaxed as I have been this summer.
5. If there is such like a psychic, I believe I am. I pick up on other people’s energy and sometimes have to stop myself in conversation not to say things that no one has said yet.
Of course I will not share the big ones, there is something to be said in this day and age when people upload pictures of their breakfast to have a bit of mystery.
When I was 20 years old, I was cut off. No reason, no explanation, just a hey we’re sending you money, you are just spending it all. The truth was I was not getting any checks and my tuition was not being paid so all the plum classes I registered for would slip through my fingers with non-payments. I would call my dad crying. Without being told, I understood I would have to put myself through school.
My father was not down on his luck, in fact, he was a doctor with a local television show who regularly handed out hundreds to strangers and for tips. All my life when I asked why he did not spend more time with me he would say I have to pay for your college somehow. I was devastated, but more so because his new wife had forced him to choose between us: she wanted Gucci shoes and I wanted my education. He could not understand why I disliked him. In his mind there was no correlation between me being cut off and being angry with him. I had to grow up very quickly at 20. The thing is there was no other alternative . I had to assume complete responsibility for myself and make do with the money I had saved when times were flush.
This meant I had to learn to budget and say no to things I largely wanted to do. The girls from my boarding school were traveling the world and I was wondering how long could I survive on peanut butter and jelly. During my twenties I worked three jobs-day school, night school, summer school, not to mention tutoring-all to make ends meet. My mother died when I was 23 effectively making me an orphan. I would dream about being homeless.
A blog is great if you find something in common whether it be a feeling, image and the writing is smooth. I like a post if it is balanced and creative. Furthermore, if it is a novice or a veteran writer, I “like” the post to give them a bit of encouragement.
I live in Miami and while it is beautiful, it can also be deadly. Hurricane season is from about June to November. This is every year. Natives know they have to be prepared for a possible disaster. I lived through Hurricane Andrew when I was 14. My sister and I hid under a desk in my father’s office as we heard bottles, cats, etc fly through the air outside. Our guard dogs waited by the front windows for looters. My father drove me through the streets afterwards. Destruction and devastation had taken over the magic city.
I know I have to gather water because it might be shut off. After Andrew we were so desperate for a shower, we drove to a lake. My mother already a but nutty had us all sit around and pray. She was nervous while I enjoyed the break in the darkness. When I got older, the hurricanes had more gravity.
I had to be responsible. When one comes, or as was the case one year more than two, I call my sister and we make plans. My landlords have a generator and I am close to a canal. Cramped, but centrally located, we make my house the station. I buy the water and entertainment. She brings the food. As the rains come, I recall the unease of being confined and praying. In those moments I understand the power of nature.