I Do Not Suffer Gurus Lightly
Yesterday I was helping my neighbor hang her Halloween lights. The old hook no longer worked so I was spotting her as she nailed in a new one. I looked down for just a second and the nail she was hammering away at ricocheted out from under the hammer and the blunt side hit my head. Had I still been looking up, my eye would have been hit. She got flustered and I was just shocked. There was no blood, but my head was smarting. We went inside to put ice on it and she profusely apologized. I told her not to worry it was an accident. A few minutes later, half joking she asked if I would sue her.
The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. Accidents happen and they are unpleasant. Money hungry is not an adjective for me. I live simply, but I laughed and we watched the telly to take our minds off the scare. I was in awe that seconds earlier my green peeper could have been a goner. I vowed to light a Archangel Michael candle in thanks. After being dropped off, I promptly lit one and laid down. SO dramatic I thought as snuggled into my huge blue bed. Still, I was lucky. Still early I looked for ways to entertain myself. Meditation would require too much focus and I wasn’t in the mood to do my kirtan. So I answered emails and set up ghostwriting appointments.
In my inbox was a note from the man I saw on Saturday from MantraFest asking if I was interested in his programs. Sure I replied. I love finding out about new things. Sleep hit me hard and when I woke up at 4 I checked my email and the candle that I had left on. It was from the Mantra man saying he was giving a special for a mentoring program. It would be a steal at $3,000. I must be dreaming I thought turning over. No one would expect anyone to pay that.
As I pulled into work I checked my email again. It was there, the email with the unbelievable price tag. Who, claiming to be enlightened, would feel comfortable charging that much? God is free and more than that since I have done a bit of self-help ghostwriting, I know firsthand that those “helpers” are somewhat egomaniacs who hate challenges of any kind. Humans are human and they only claim to know better. This was disgusting.
I wrote him a terse email telling him the price was outrageous and ridiculous. In Buddhism, followers feed the monks as the walk the streets in the morning. I have done this before and they are grateful. I buy the monk buckets in the Thailand equivalent of Walmart. You have to admire a country that sells pretty sweet gift baskets for their holy. Some have cellphones and tattoos, but they don’t wear Rolexs, just saffron robes. They have chosen a life of service.
Within a half hour he had written back saying I was misinformed and my anger was inappropriate. First of all, I was not angry. I had written I was disappointed in his price gouging. Second, I had called him out on his greed. Yes, you have to live, but you don’t need to live like a king when you are in a life of service. I guess he had a change of heart and sent me or “Barbara” as he mistakenly labeled me a long email thirty minutes later. Here’s the best part: