Nothing More Than Feelings?
I have been ghostwriting self-help books for over six months now. Everyone thinks they have the answer and it generally falls into two camps: select your thoughts or monitor your feelings. I have written hundreds of pages of both. Thankfully the clients cannot see me rolling my eyes and meditating on the other end.
We can select our thoughts. Buddhism teaches this and as every Eat, Pray. Love fan recalls Richard saying this to Groceries when she cannot sit for longer than five minutes. It is hard though when you tap into your programming and finally hear what you say to yourself all day long. I obsess over my writing career and if my book is going to get published. It is like a freight train all day. Once I tuned in, I was not pleased. You can’t write with so much doubt swimming around.
Then there’s feelings which have been mostly peaceful. I can hop on the expressway and feel comfortable. This used to terrify me as I had a shitty car and the looming thoughts of my sister’s near fatal accident crowded my mind. Now my feelings just don’t get riled up anymore.
As someone who has spent time in the self-help world, I can just tell you not to waste too much time thinking if only you could just have a book of answers. There really aren’t any. That’s the point of life though, we just have to sit with our thoughts and feelings until they fade away into peace. Sometimes feelings and/or thoughts bubble up that we don’t like. There will always be twinges of jealousy or even pure hatred. Trying to change them into positives just breeds resentment. Feel your emotions and think your thoughts, strive to make them authentic and more positive than negative.
We live in the real world and I can tell you from experience the self-help guys throw epic tantrums, say ridiculous things and attempt to bully. They are as clueless as the next guy. The thing is we listen to them, thinking they know better. All they have in their corner is a specific kind of certainty that not everyone attempts. I just don’t want anyone to ever think the answers are outside of them. All answers are within if we can have the same confidence in ourselves as we do in others.